| After living together for many years, your | | | | "I think I'm pregnant." I announced. I still |
| father and I married with the intention of | | | | couldn't quite believe it. "Do you feel sick, |
| one day extending our family. When, and | | | | heavy in your uterus?" "No." "Then you're |
| exactly how extended, we didn't know - but it | | | | not pregnant." "But the pregnancy test says I |
| was a part of our unwritten contract. | | | | am." I protested. She shrugged |
| | | | disinterestedly. Suddenly, I started to doubt |
| From that date on we discussed you. You were | | | | the truth myself. She felt my wrist pulse, a |
| a lovely figment of our imagination, a lolly | | | | Tibetan diagnostic method, and didn't look |
| that we felt we could suck on forever without | | | | impressed. "You'll know for certain when |
| it ever having to finish. | | | | you're 5 or 6 months pregnant." She advised. |
| | | | |
| At our first wedding anniversary in the | | | | Disconcerted and a little disappointed, I |
| Indian Himalaya that lovely figment struggled | | | | changed the subject. "Tell me, what does a |
| in my mind to become more than just a | | | | crow symbolise in Tibetan mythology?" "It |
| fantasy. | | | | depends upon what the crow is doing." She |
| | | | replied. "How about a crow attaching itself |
| I would love to tell you that I knew the | | | | to a window and knocking at the pane with its |
| exact moment you were conceived, but I | | | | beak?" "That signifies pregnancy." She stated |
| didn't. Perhaps it was that very first moment | | | | incuriously and added, "Well, that's what the |
| when we decided it was now or never. Is that | | | | old Tibetans say." "THAT has been happening |
| physical act not quite as important as we | | | | to me for the last three days." With |
| might like to think? | | | | unexpected enthousisam, the Tibetan doctor |
| | | | began pounding my hand up and down in her own |
| Not long after conception we both used Reiki | | | | - "Congratulations!" And her gold tooth |
| on my womb to support the process that would | | | | glinted in the light of my happiness. |
| one day become you. It all came together | | | | |
| beautifully and within the month I was | | | | Every morning our friend came to our window, |
| pregnant. | | | | balanced himself fully extended on a thin |
| | | | wooden slat and knocked with his beak, "tak, |
| After having lived in Darjeeling for a year | | | | tak, tak". He would then sit patiently in the |
| in the house on the hill with our Reiki | | | | tree, warbling and chuckling his ancient |
| centre, we were packing up to leave and by | | | | tale. |
| the time the pregnancy test gave me two | | | | |
| straight blue lines we had just two weeks | | | | We could only hope, on the day that we sadly |
| left. There were many friends to say goodbye | | | | left Darjeeling almost two weeks later, that |
| to and a great deal of delicious food yet to | | | | his tale had been fully told. |
| be shared. | | | | |
| | | | Your story doesn't finish there my little |
| It was hard to imagine that you were growing | | | | one. |
| inside of me, a part of Frans and a part of | | | | |
| me but with your own mysterious spirit. "Who | | | | Later that week in the plane from Calcutta, |
| are you?" we wondered as we laid our hands on | | | | the inflight magazine wrote of the Dalai |
| my flat stomach, connecting with you. | | | | Lama's early life before entering the |
| | | | monastery. His mother told how she knew that |
| It was just two days after the test confirmed | | | | she was about to give birth to an auspicious |
| I was pregnant that something strange began | | | | being when 2 crows came knocking at her |
| to happen. | | | | window. We read this news with delight, |
| | | | letting our imaginations fly along the |
| Frans and I were sitting in our lounge room | | | | Tibetan plains where magic and mystery |
| and I said, "Look outside - there's a crow in | | | | reside. |
| the tree." The tree was opposite the bedroom | | | | |
| window and normally I would never have | | | | Each day that you grew inside of me, I lay |
| commented on seeing a crow - during the | | | | down and placed my hands on my head to |
| monsoon there must have been at least 20 in | | | | recite: 'My baby is going to have a have a |
| the trees surrounding our house. Yet monsoon | | | | quick, smooth and easy birth". I would place |
| was long gone and there was something odd | | | | my hands on you, to reassure you too with |
| about this crow that I couldn't put my finger | | | | words and energy: "You are going to have a |
| on as it observed me with its beady black | | | | quick, smooth and easy birth". |
| eyes. | | | | |
| | | | At 37 weeks, you woke me at 2 am with the |
| Frans left to go down to the village and I | | | | news that you were on the way. At 3 am I woke |
| wandered around our now half empty house. On | | | | your father - get yourself together Dad! At |
| entering our bedroom, I gasped, stepping back | | | | ten minutes past 6 that morning you were born |
| into the hall again. There, flat against the | | | | at our local hospital, too early for the |
| large bay window with its chequered glass | | | | planned birthing centre. Your earliness |
| panes, was this enormous black figure. It was | | | | necessitated a hospital birth but we never |
| a bird - stretched out to its full length | | | | saw a doctor just a midwife and she, along |
| from wing tip to wing tip pressed against the | | | | with my rescue remedy, gave us the clarity |
| glass with one half of its face peering at | | | | and focus to bring you with ease into this |
| me. | | | | world. As you took your first gasp of air, I |
| | | | already knew of your beauty - it was mirrored |
| Not daring to enter in case it became | | | | in the look on your father's face. |
| aggressive, I spied on it through a chink in | | | | |
| the door as it balanced precariously on one | | | | At the end of her shift, the midwife dropped |
| of the many wooden slats that held the square | | | | by to see this family of three who had been |
| glass panels in place. It was that same odd | | | | Blessed with the Initiation of Birth. It |
| crow from this morning, I was sure. | | | | wasn't until she left that we read her name |
| | | | on our daughter's birth certificate - Julie |
| I retreated and paced the house until Frans | | | | Crowe. |
| returned. | | | | |
| | | | Your father tore himself away from you on |
| When we re-entered the bedroom, we found the | | | | that first day to drive home to have a shower |
| crow sitting watching us from the nearby | | | | and pick up some extra things. As he walked |
| tree. Frans fearlessly opened the window wide | | | | up our front steps an eggshell, one half |
| and called out to the bird, "You can come in | | | | shell resting inside the other, lay at the |
| if you want to." The bird didn't respond to | | | | centre of the top step. |
| the invitation, yet continued to follow our | | | | |
| movements from its tree post for the rest of | | | | Nature is not in this world to simply be used |
| the day. It began to dawn on us that its | | | | to satisfy human needs and wants. If we can |
| mission was not a dangerous one. | | | | understand the magnitude and sheer relevance |
| | | | of nature's gifts for us, we will know that |
| Early the following morning as the | | | | we must in return nurture nature, treasure |
| jingly-jangly Hindi music from the Darjeeling | | | | its preciousness. |
| marketplace wafted up the hill and the sun | | | | |
| crept along our orange curtains, a loud "tak, | | | | In this way humanity and nature will continue |
| tak" noise jarred us awake. | | | | to co-evolve, creating existence, together. |
| | | | |
| Sleepily, we searched out the foreign sound | | | | If we no longer learn from, listen or watch |
| with our eyes. Against the sunlit curtains | | | | for nature's signs, will nature become |
| could be seen the black silhouette of a fully | | | | redundant? |
| grown crow, wings extended. He was back. | | | | |
| "Tak, tak" - his beak pecked forcefully at | | | | In its redundancy, will humanity be able to |
| the glass. Loosing balance on the thin wooden | | | | continue its journey? |
| slat, his wings beat furiously to regain | | | | |
| their position until he could resume his | | | | To take from this world is what we do as |
| "tak, tak, taking". | | | | humans but at the same time we must give back |
| | | | and care for that which mothers us - even if |
| We lay quietly in bed pondering what it all | | | | that giving back is simply a nod of |
| meant until we drifted back to sleep to his | | | | acknowledgment. |
| rhythmic language. Once the morning sun had | | | | |
| risen our two-legged friend returned to his | | | | If we no longer notice the crow, the magazine |
| perch on the tree, chattering away, perhaps | | | | article, the midwife and the sign of a |
| recounting a tale intended to subliminally | | | | miracle will they all gradually fade from our |
| enter our consciousnesses. | | | | existence? And once they vanish, will we |
| | | | gradually fade into the distance too? |
| The next morning the "tak, tak, tak" at the | | | | |
| window was less of a shock and more of a | | | | We have kept that shell for you. It is a |
| thrill. We realised that this was to become a | | | | reminder of the mysterious ways of this world |
| ritual. | | | | that we must never take for granted nor be |
| | | | required to seek to decipher. Not everything |
| In some way we knew this crow was connected | | | | needs an answer, but it does need to be. |
| to you. Was the crow your protector, your | | | | |
| teacher, or merely a sign from nature that | | | | These are some of the things we slowly begin |
| you were on your way? | | | | to understand as Reiki parents. |
| | | | |
| The next day I made my way to the Tibetan | | | | Enjoy this world and always give back in |
| doctor whom I had been seeing to purify my | | | | order that you can continue to grow and be |
| blood with herbal tablets, preparing me for | | | | blessed with a hand to hold on your journey - |
| motherhood. | | | | whether that hand be human, or a special gift |
| | | | from nature. |